Moms Gone Wild " Club Grocery Store"

    For the first time, today I realized how “little” time I get to myself. I am a wife and also a mother, those components alone equal...

    For the first time, today I realized how “little” time I get to myself. I am a wife and also a mother, those components alone equal chaos. Most days from 5am until about 10pm I am moving, moving, moving. I am making coffee for the husband by 6am, breakfast for the boys by 9am, scrambling up a lunch by 12pm, attempting to put them down for a nap no later than 1:30pm, snacks after nap around 3:30pm, deciding on dinner by 6pm, before bed snacks, baths, grabbing beer for hubby, cleaning the days mess, oh wait... you have to add the trillion things my 4 month old needs to get through the day in between everything that was previous listed, boys in bed, figuring out if I have enough energy to shower, none the less staring at a screen to talk to you all, whew… where is the stop button. Let’s put this show on pause. Sit down and literally just exhale. Most nights I am extremely tired. I know I don’t do much, which is what most people say about a stay at home mom but whoa my feet hurt. Stay at home moms get such a bad rap for being considered lazy, and ladies that don’t want to work. But, I am here to tell you, on most days, I am very tired. You want to trade places? I’ll take the job, and quiet hour lunch break, and music filled drives home if you want the poo diapers, spit ups and dirty fingers sticking their hands in your meals.  

    It wasn’t my intentions while growing up to become a housewife. But, I created quite a few littles and in today’s society, daycare for 3 kids under 4 is literally more than a house mortgage, a new car payment, or a week’s worth shopping spree. It is expensive. I enjoy the huge impact that I am having on my children by staying home, I enjoy being able to protect them from the chaos of the world. We have play dates, we get to set our schedule however we like, and most importantly I know they are in a safe environment. But, is it wrong to miss just a little “me” time.

    Recently, I was able to go grocery shopping ALONE and let me tell you I was surprised. Surprised that people actually get to do this and it can be so enjoyable. I envy you single, get up and go whenever you want people. Go have some kids. LOL. But, I actually enjoyed myself. I didn’t have to rush through the store and forget things, I was able to go down as many isles as I wanted to. I looked at unnecessary things, shoes, makeup, magazines, even bought myself a treat for the first time in a long time. This trip to the store was like a mini vacation. I lived it up. 

Strolling & Taking My Time. YAY!

My little treat :) Thought were super cute!

    Wish I could have been welcomed with a fresh margarita. You know, stores should realize tired moms that have finally gotten a break and pass out fun treats at the door. But, it made me think, sheesh we as women give so much to our families that we sometimes lose ourselves. We lose our identity as an individual. Walking through the store, I was calm, I did not break out in a sweat, and for once felt like I was myself again. Sad but true.

    We (women) are expected to have it all together, give it all up, know all the answers, do everything for the family, and not ever just want to get away. Why is that so wrong? Is it wrong for me to say I enjoyed being by myself. Without the kids or the hubby. Does that make me a bad mom, or person? NO! It almost brought on a sense of sadness because walking in that store gave me a sense of pride. I felt like a teenager sneaking out of the house and getting away with it. OMG, has my main existence really come to only having fun at a supercenter grocery store? 

     I used to be so much fun. But, what is fun? I am a different kind of fun now. I am a kid toting, backpack wearing, nose picking, bottle making, diaper changing superstar. My life skills are off the charts. My clubs involve loud music in the kitchen with the kids dancing around me while I cook breakfast. My sexy attire include mama pajamas and a messy bun. I love a big messy bun. Bars for me have the decor of a living room and comfy VIP couch with sitcoms on a big screen. Now, only one guy is my bartender, and he brings me ice cold beers from the fridge. That’s fun, right?
As a mom, I absolutely adore my kids, and I love the littles I am grooming for this cut throat world. So naturally it is a scary feeling that you no longer live for yourself. We (parents) are living for those special littles that look up to us. We live to turn them into functioning, educated, goal setting adults. Adults that become self-sufficient. 

    If I could go back in time and give advice to my younger self, I would tell her to ENJOY the quiet time. ENJOY the rest time. ENJOY the living for YOU time. Because “adulting” is hard and exhausting. Its stressful and takes a lot of planning and patience. I would tell her to make and chase as many dreams as possible because nothing is impossible. Live to the very fullest and to live in that moment because once she becomes an adult it is no going back to that phase of such freedom. This store trip showed me that I was giving my all to that purpose. That I had given myself to my kids wholeheartedly.  Which is completely fine, and I am more than grateful and overjoyed with my positions. 

    I know I cannot be the only mom that feels this way at times. Moms are powerful beings and we deserve to still do everything possible to be fulfilled. Yes, we are still good moms when we need alone time (outside of the occasional bathroom lockdowns of solitude) but we deserve to still be ourselves. Don’t lose yourself in mommy mode. Being a mom is what you do, NOT who you are. It is not wrong to sometimes feel overwhelmed. It is not wrong to not know what you are doing. It is not wrong to have fun at the local Wal-Mart like I did. Just do it! I am Dani and I am a overwhelmed but extremely happy stay at home mom. Will I see you at the new “CLUB GROCERY STORE"?

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